FADING MEMORIES

This is one of only two photos I have with my parents.

The faded image is reflective of a foreshadowing. You can feel the passage of many decades in the fuzzy image that has oddly left my father the lightest figure. My dad left this earth many years ago and luckily, Mom is still with us. The passage of time has left its fingerprint on this photo. The precise details of the day have escaped my memory, just as the photo has faded.

I feel a tightness in my chest and tears are emerging as I gaze at this image. I suppose I'm just feeling wistful.

I recall how easily Life simply opened her generous and welcoming arms to me. She granted me the Midas touch. Whatever I wanted seemed to land in my lap nearly effortlessly. Or so it seemed. Certainly, my second Jupiter return occurred just a few short years after this photo was taken. Simply a classic Midas-touch season, for sure.

Yet, I did not realize that the Golden-touch was temporary.

I miss the simplicity.
I miss the magic.
I miss the longing and mystery for the life I was unconsciously creating. The vague vision of what my life might become.

I was unaware and not capable of recognizing my power, nor the power of manifesting. I simply followed the breadcrumbs that were in front of me lining a path into the unknown. One step at a time my life unfolded.

Here I am now, gazing at a photo of myself capturing a moment so many seasons ago.

I am not even remotely the same woman I was in this photo. Yet, there is a thread that connects the two of us. Luckily, my life experiences have been more profound and rich than that young woman in the photo could have imagined.

When I look back upon my path, I notice the magical moments that still take my breath away, and in between were moments of immense hardship scattered ruthlessly among the ordinary day-to-day events. They were the mountains that I had no choice but to climb.

This is a classic story.
Nearly everyone can relate.

While our personal experiences uniquely inform and shape our lives, it is this formula of contradictions, a mix of elated and tragic, that make up our life story. No one escapes exposure to pain points.

I did not do anything to deserve difficult and challenging events. I was not to blame. I was not a failure as a daughter or a person.
Unfortunately, this fact took years for me to recognize.

We are all fortunate to taste the sweet as well as the bitter aspects of life. Therein lies the balance, and the inherent ingredients that are required to grow spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.

Yet, for each of us, it is the unique individual events that touch our souls. It is here, where we meet each other in our creaturehood, in our humanness.

We understand that a life well-lived takes a full spectrum of experiences. Wisdom reveals that we walk our own path. At times we are on our best behavior, other times not. Sometimes, it’s messy and unkempt, maybe even a trainwreck.
Life is about the lessons we learn and how we apply them.

My greatest hope is that we (humanity) can meet in a heart-centered place of compassion and connection. It’s important to trust that we all are doing our best with what we have been given.

Just like this image, my memory of this day has faded, but what replaces it is the essence of that time. What replaces it is the measurement of how far I’ve traveled along the path.

It is so beautifully transient.

* * *

Thanks, Mom & Dad. xo

Until next time.

Feet on the ground and face to the sky.

Special Note: I wrote this under the influence of a Lunar (penumbral) Eclipse in Scorpio. I always feel the energy move through me and there is something profound under the surface within this inner message. My Neptune is in the mix currently, so clarity will arrive for me at a later date. :)